Tuesday, March 29, 2011

ACTIONS ARE LOUDER THAN BIRDS!

Spring is almost here and while spending more time outside, I've noticed a lot more birds in my yard. I love to watch them fly and flit around and I take great pleasure in noticing the different varieties of feathered friends that stop to chug-a-lug some water from my garden birdbath or to occassionally drop "birdy gifts" on my nice, clean car.

I've been educating myself about different birds, but in my usual way, I've noticed some strange similarities between the names of some birds and the habits of some humans!

COMMON LOON

As the name says, these are quite common! You see them everywhere. They're far more calm, social and fun-loving when they're young and their habits at that stage of life involve flying all over the place, and eating and drinking. This breed isn't referred to as LOON until they mate, breed and have their young. After becoming parents, Loons are far less social, don't move around much, spend most of their time working to care for their young and clean their nests. Mature Loons do, however, seem to greatly increase their eating and drinking.

NUTHATCH

Although the Nuthatch is, indeed, a type of bird, it doesn't compare to a human. However, Loons with teenagers are usually one step away from the nuthatch!

MASKED BOOBY

One of these recently got a lot of press when he robbed a bank. I recall that this particular Masked Booby was wearing a cap with the logo of his work-place on the front of it. He was also sporting a nice pair of work coveralls that featured his full name embroidered on the front patch. Those Boobys....they sure are silly!

AUK

These can be found gathered at any all-you-can-eat buffet and are named for the sound they make after feeding: "Auk!"

WHITE COLLARED SEEDEATER

This bird tends to be quiet and will shy away from groups. Continuously dieting on sprouts, granola and seeds, they like to listen to the music of Enya, John Tesh, Yanni and Georgian Chants.

SWIFT

Flocks of these can be found on any interstate highway.

CREEPER

If you have one of these roosting in your neighborhood, invest in some good window shades, motion-activated lighting and a high fence. A large dog that barks at strangers may also come in handy.

KINGFISHER

 This variety is not originally named Kingfisher, but is elected to government office and then may be called a Kingfisher. Kingfishers are known to have the ability to sing loudly for long periods of time without taking a breath.

BULBUL

We all turn into one of these from time to time, usually immediatelly after listening to any political speech given by a Kingfisher. "That's a lot of Bulbul!"

CHICKADEE

This variety is always young, female and cute as can be. They chirp and flit from place to place. Chickadees are unique in one particular habit. One of them can't travel to the bathroom alone. They always have to go in multiples. Chickadees can also be found flocking around clothing sales, hair salons, and shoe stores. They like to take their prospective mates to gaze into the showcases at jewelry stores.

GRAY CATBIRD

This bird is the oldest variety of the Chickadee. They are feisty, funny, and can get away with being outspoken and onery. Their off-beat antics are referred to as being eccentric. This is what I hope to be when I'm an old dame.

AMERICAN COOT

The male version of the Gray Catbird, this variety likes to talk, talk, talk and is very opinionated. It also loves to chirp about how, in it's youth, it had to walk to school in mile upon mile of deep snow.

LIMPKIN

This breed is slowly declining in population. There aren't as many of these around, thanks to Viagra!

WANDERING TATTLER

When I was a kid, we had one of these in our neighborhood. This breed is not popular with others but insists on following them around and closely watching and reporting on their every move. Wandering Tattlers tend to get beaten up alot!

BROAD-TAILED HUMMINGBIRD

I think I was behind one of these while in the check-out line at the grocery store last week. She was humming "La Vida Loca" and buying ice cream, chips and several tabloid newspapers.

NASHVILLE WARBLER

A popular breed that comes in all shapes and sizes. Warblers can be referred to as Reba, Garth, Dolly, Loretta, or my particular favorite, Mr. George Strait. Love that Warbler!

WAGTAIL

This female comes in all shapes and sizes and is usually brightly colored. Wagtails can be identified by their distinctive walk, which I tried to duplicate once, but injured my back. Where you find a Wagtail, you will also find a few Vultures watching her every move.

I could write more about how we compare with our feathered friends, but I have to fly to lunch now where I'll eat like a bird. Later, I'll wing back to my nest, roost on the sofa and crow about my day. Only a Dodo bird wouldn't enjoy that!

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