Saturday, April 23, 2011

The Honesty of Small Children...Yikes!

Tomorrow's Easter and I'm looking forward to seeing family members who no longer live nearby. I can't wait to see my niece, K...who is now a married momma with three of the cutest little pre-school age boys you've ever seen! Love those little guys! You never know what they'll say next, but it's always amusing. Recently, the oldest boy told his brother that the Tooth Fairy had died.

This isn't really the Tooth Fairy. She's camera shy, so I posted this picture of LaQuita, who failed Tooth Fairy Academy.

You can always count on little kids to be blunt and to-the-point when it comes to their opinions on things. I like that. However, it does remind me of a time, long ago, when K was just a tiny little girl. I used to "borrow" K, back before I had children of my own. I'd take her to Disney movies, shopping and lunch and then give her back to her mother when she got cranky. It was GREAT! such day, K and I were enjoying a wonderful day of fun together. She was dressed in a cute little dress, all ruffles and bows, and had ribbons tied in her pretty blonde hair.

That's not really a picture of K. I don't have one on my computer at the moment, so Shirley Temple will have to stand in.

Everywhere I went with K, that day, people commented on how pretty and sweet this little angel of a child was! I was sooooo proud!
K and I decided to have lunch at a very nice restaurant. It was lunch-hour on a weekday, so the place was packed. We were seated next to a table of attractive ladies dressed in business suits. Most of them were weaing high-heels.

K noticed this.

"Aunt Maudie, look at those shoes," she said.
"I see them," I replied.
"But Aunt Maudie, look at those shoes!, she said again.
"Yes honey. I see," I muttered as I looked over the menu selections.
"But Aunt Maudie. Look at THAT lady's shoes! That one right there!, K loudly insisted.
I glanced up to see K was franticly pointing at one of the women's feet. She had a very serious look on her face.

*again...not really K, but ...well...too bad!
The woman, who seemed to have the most fascinating shoes in the world, was smiling at K. All of the women at the table were smiling.
"Oh, isn't she adorable? What an angel," said the lady with the fascinating shoes to her lunch friends.

K was still pointing at the woman's feet and said, even more loudly, "Those shoes! Those shoes! Look Aunt Maudie!"
What I did next was REALLY stupid! I wasn't a Mom yet and didn't know how damned honest, open and LOUD a little kid could be.

I looked at K and said, "I see the nice lady's shoes honey. Those are really pretty shoes, aren't they?"
Hell, I really didnt' want, or expect a four-year-old's honest opinion on footwear. But that's what I got!

K looked at me, turned to face that table full of business women and laughingly announced in a voice loud enough to be heard in Germany, "Oh no Aunt Maudie. Those are the dumbest shoes I've ever seen!"

"Why is that lady wearing those shoes? Doesn't she know they're funny shoes?"

"They make her feet look really big too. She must have giant feet! Those are the biggest feet I've ever seen!"

"Those feet are bigger than my Daddy's feet!"

Dear Lord....the child wouldn't shut up about those damned shoes! I was about to soil my pants! (Maudie has decided not to use the "S" word in her blog. Use your imagination people. Do I have to do everything here? I know!)
I didn't know what to do.

I didn't know how to stop K!
"Why does that lady have big clown feet and funny clown shoes?" She was on a freakin' roll!

I really don't remember what happened next.
I honestly don't.
I think I passed out.
Or maybe I was knocked unconscious by a sharp blow to the head, caused by a large, ugly clown high heel?

So, tomorrow, I'll see my sweet K and her family. I'll remind her of this story. She will be sure to not recall it. Kids have the gift of not having to recall all sorts of stupid crap they do when they're little. I, however, will never forget it.

David ....yummy!
And that's a pic of David Beckham. He has nothing to do with this story.
He has nothing to do with my blog.
 He has nothing to do with Easter. Maudie just wanted to put his picture on here and look at it.
Yippie for Maudie!

Happy Easter everyone!

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