Wednesday, April 20, 2011

This is NOT The Family Room!

I spent a fun evening, the other night, with a great group of my gal-pals! So much fun was had, that I'll have to do another post on it sometime soon. The conversation I had with one of my friends, inspired today's writing...so here goes...

Everyone knows what they'd wish for in a perfect dream house. My wish would be for a hidden bathroom with a location known only to me where I could have complete privacy.





You think I'm aiming too low in wishing for a bathroom?
Ha!
I have kids, 3 cats and a cell phone.

It was worse when the kids were younger. I couldn't find a time, back then, when I wasn't disturbed, while in the bathroom! I told the kids that the bathroom is a place where we all have to have moments of "privacy." Back then, it somehow failed to sink into their high IQ brains when it came to MY privacy!
I used to get visits from my little princess when I took showers. I eventually got used to her "visits." Once, long ago, while I was shaving my legs in the shower, I saw, out of the corner of my eye, a shadow creep over the surface of the shower curtain.



"Who is it? I said loudly.
The shadow didn't answer me. Nearer and nearer it came, slowly advancing on poor, defenseless me.
"WHO'S IN HERE?" I yelled a bit louder.
Still no comment from the threatening shadow!
At this point, what was on my mind?
Well sure......NORMAN BATES WAS ON MY MIND!!!!!
Who hasn't had a disturbing thought of that guy at least once while taking a shower?




The Norman Bates-like shadow was just on the other side of the shower curtain. I grabbed the only weapon I could find....my value-sized, big ass bottle of shampoo. I held it high, ready to club Norman before he could stab me!
The curtain was pulled open with a WOOSH!
I screamed! AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH.



There stood my princess, screaming back at me in terror. Then she began to cry. I'd scared the hell out of her. Bad Momma!
And, she'd only wanted to show me how she'd given her new Barbie doll a nice crew cut.





Do I still get uneasy when I see a shadow on the shower curtain? You bet your soap-on-a-rope I do! It's the reason I didn't have perfectly shaved legs until I finally tossed the designer shower curtain and bought a clear one!
Even now, with a clear glass shower...I still peek out, every now and then, watching for some nutcase Norman. Thankfully, the only visitor I have now, is one of the cats. He hears me singing in the shower and comes to see if the sound is one of the other cats, being tortured.


Ah well...time to shower!
I'll continue my thoughts on bathroom privacy (what a hell of a topic. But Maudie doesn't shy away from such things!) another time.





Until then.....keep clean and watch your back! Wash your back too please.

Love and hugs,
Maudie

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